i have decided to make this private

this option has been running around my mind for quite sometime already
the first time i started this blog, my intention was just write down something whenever i want
later on, the blogger trend is so hot and more friends started to have their own blog
so only then i start to tell my friends that i am having my own blog as well
but lately, i felt like sometimes i would like to hide myself
it's not because of i don't want to reveal my feelings to other
i just hate people come to me, saying this and that about what have i mentioned in my blog
some more teasing me in their so-called "kinda of" funny way
which in fact mean kinda stupid for me, i mean their acts are stupid
especially those people are not those that are close to me
and yet trying to pretend that they are my close friends

C'MON, WAKE UP!
WE ARE NOT REALLY THAT CLOSE ANYWAY
STOP BEING HYPOCRITE AND BEING NICE TO ME
I TOTALLY KNOW WHAT YOU DID

the same thing goes with my facebook shoutouts
i used to update them whenever i want
but then i realize whatever related to other BSPMK ppl
i just couldn't do that anymore
it's not that i don't welcome their comments
but their behavior will deter people from allowing them to know more
cause they are just super duper 3 8


anway...
today, one of my coursemate asked me, how come i become so quiet lately?
i am not really one of those quiet ones if you really know me
i just have no idea
i felt like no energy to talk to them
i felt like no enthusiasm to even talk to them, mingle with them, playing games with them
in fact, to be honest, i am not interested in playing those childhood games now
especially in the lecture room
in front of the fellow coursemates and fac mate that might think that
chinese people are kinda psycho and noisy

i have no idea, why i had become so emotional lately
i guess mostly because of the transportation issue that had been bothering me lately
there was this long story to tell
i'm gonna tell you girls soon~ when i am meeting up with u all~
i had been staying quiet, may join in with them
but no talking for me, just listening
at least for them, i am still listening
as the matter of fact, i am not listening a single word of what they are saying
i just couldn't stay focused
i felt so lost
so many things to be done
and yet i still havent start with anything yet~ gosh~
felt like the end of my world is coming soon x_x
cause my thesis is in the proposal stage
which represent that i may screw myself up~
who can give me some guidance on how to start writting the stupid thesis report???? argggghhh~~